Guest Blog Post, Laurie Blauner: What Kind of a Beast Is This?

I’m much more comfortable in my imagination or immersed in metaphor compared to real life. So this, my first blog, is a different creature for me. According to Wikipedia there are over 134 million blogs as of October 2012. My ideal Blog Beast is some kind of huge scampering bird with developing wings, orange feathers, a protruding beak, an insect’s multi-dimensional eyes, too many ears, an alligator’s digestive system, a cat’s vomiting mechanism, with sharp teeth that can gnaw through anything.  Avesanellus blog socialis (see picture at side). It mates and reproduces at an extraordinary rate.

My Blog Beast listens attentively to my every opinion and thought and responds with deep, insightful utterances when prompted. My Beast comprehends everything and, although it sticks by my side, it can be everywhere all at once.

I affectionately call it a Beast because not only does it require care and feeding, but it takes away time from other things I could be doing. So many other people have their own Blog Beasts these days and who can stop to pet or appreciate them all? And each one is different. Does my Beast have anything new or important to say? Will it communicate with others of its kind? Will it migrate? Lay eggs? Is it wild or domesticated? I will have to devise a way to test its intelligence and its agility. I’m told I need my Blog Beast to sell my forthcoming (and past) fiction and poetry books—but how can it do this with only its tiny webbed feet and strange strangled noises? Does my Blog Beast have ideas of its own? Should it be leashed or unleashed?

Laurie Blauner

Laurie Blauner is the author of two novels, Infinite Kindness and Somebody, a novella called Instructions for Living, and six books of poetry. A new novel titled The Bohemians is forthcoming in 2013 from Black Heron Press. She has received a National Endowment of the Arts Fellowship as well as Seattle Arts Commission, King County Arts Commission, 4Culture, and Artist Trust grants and awards.She was a resident at Centrum and was in the Jack Straw Writers Program.Her work has appeared in The New Republic, The Nation, The Georgia Review, American Poetry Review, Mississippi Review, and other magazines.

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7 thoughts on “Guest Blog Post, Laurie Blauner: What Kind of a Beast Is This?

  • January 19, 2013 at 1:08 pm
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    This is an amazing and interesting new take on blogs. Everyone seems to have one these days but I never really saw it as a growing, evolving being that can be used for so many purposes. The final line is the epitomic question of all blogs; should all these ideas be unleashed to the world or kept close to the writer? This is a great post to come back to when looking at all blogs

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  • January 19, 2013 at 4:03 pm
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    I love the visual representation of a blog post. The ability to view it as not only something written with thoughts contrasting opinions et cetera. But that it has a physical shape and can be seen by others is quite unique. The idea is similar to that of a muse. Perhaps as times and the way writing is formulated has changed the sources of inspiration have changed as well.

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  • January 19, 2013 at 5:48 pm
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    Wow. Not only was this a amusing read, I found it be very thought provoking and powerful, and I can definitely relate to being more comfortable in one’s own imaginary world than real life. The description of a blog as an actual creature is a great concept, especially given all the questions it brings up.

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  • January 21, 2013 at 1:12 am
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    What an interesting and accurate depiction of blogs. Due to the growing number of blogs, I contemplate whether or not I should really start one because, like Laurie wonders, I might not be able to offer anything new, interesting, or important. However, I suppose that’s part of the beauty of blogs: it belongs to you, and you can choose to share with the world whatever you’d like.

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    • January 25, 2013 at 12:09 pm
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      You’re very right Mai! Do not feel discouraged to start your own blog out of fear or unoriginality. Go for it!

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  • January 21, 2013 at 12:06 pm
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    What a great way to express blogging, not only is this a great interpretation, but it also exemplifies the many layers and diversity that goes into the blog. Thanks for the great information here!

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  • February 3, 2013 at 1:36 am
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    I’m intrigued. Now you’ve got me pondering what my own blog beast would be. To borrow from your bird theme, mine would have the deep, slightly raspy voice of a raven, coupled with the mischievous nature of a magpie… but as I still feel like I’m developing my online “voice” further details escape me.

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